Disclaimer

 
This message reflects the thoughts, opinions, ideas, and body odor of myself; it does not reflect the thoughts, opinions, ideas, and/or body odor of my company, my friends, my wife, my two sons, my fish, my roses, my dog, or my trash. All rights reserved, all lefts reserved. This message is subject to change without notice. Some bits may or may not be slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual e-mail, programs or lizards, either running or hung, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. Type hard, you are making five copies. This message is a void pointer to null where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Ideas and concepts are provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied. User assumes full liabilities. Not liable for damages due to use or misuse or inability to understand. An equal opportunity electron employer. No shirt, no shoes, no software. Quantities are limited while supplies last. Quality and your mileage may vary. Since text is hand-crafted, there will be slight differences in each object. If defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. No Parking. No Standing. No Spitting. Post no Bills. Parental Advisory - explicit source code. No one under 17 admitted. Keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children. Limit one per family. No money down. No purchase necessary. Cache and carry. You do not need to be present to win. Some assembly and C++ required. Batteries not included. Action figures sold separately. Take a number please. Preservatives added to improve freshness. Safety goggles must be worn at all times. Hard hat area. Sealed for your protection. Call before you dig. EXTERN use only. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use and consult your magic eight ball. Use only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures. Store in a cool dry place. Refrigerate after opening. Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes. Avoid contact with eyes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. If this message begins to smoke, run, do not walk, towards the nearest exit. Do not place near any magnetic source. Printing, shredding and then smoking this message may be hazardous to your health. You are not in Kansas any more. Code used in this message was made from 100% recycled electrons. Prosecutors will be violated. No animals were used to test the deliverability of this message. No extra salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting. If symptoms persist, delete yourself immediately. If you suspect an overloaded operator, destroy immediately. Constantly volatile when exposed to static pointers. There is no parking in the red zone. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Slightly higher outside of the continental US. Allow four to six seconds for delivery. The white zone is for immediate passenger loading and unloading only. Motor vehicles only. Actually, I am a mouse in the middle of an incredibly complicated plot to take over the world. This disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, or any other natural disaster, misuse, neglect, repair, attempted modification, bugs in the code, damage from improper installation, incorrect line voltage, cosmic rays, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, and incidents related to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, alien attack, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying squirrels, verbal assaults, or house arrest. Other restrictions may apply. Do not insert orally.